MirrorOfTheSoul's Journal
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4 entries this month
I don't belong to you
18:43 Jul 05 2013
Times Read: 462
I can't go out
I can't breath
but I will keep
My smile on
Cause one day
All this nightmare
Will be over
I can't go out
I am going insane
Out there, someone
so insane and pathetic
could not accept my no
as an answer, when he
asked me out and to
be his girl
I said i am no woman
I am a man and if he
wants me, he better see
Me as I am for real, A man
but he said I am a woman
to him. I am his whore
I refused him more and more
to that with an answer
"I am not your or nobody's whore"
He tried to force a kiss on me
But a hard slap all he got
He tried to hit me but I dodged it
then months have passed before I
saw him again. I also started to change
the club and people and circles
in order to avoid an ass like him
He started to call me,
and telling me to go out
with him and I told him no again
"till you have a body of a woman
I will keep on following you
I will keep on wanting you
To me you are a woman and no man"
But I kept rejecting him, because if someone
wants me, must accept me for who i am
A man with pride, A man with a heart
A man that deserve to be respected
and in his life does not need any junky
people around to be with.
He started to stalk me
He sent me a dead bird in a rat trap
in front of my apartment door
Then later, much later on
He sent me a deadly letter that I
myself posted here as a poem
I am your criminal and shit.
I do not belong to you, fucking creep
I belong only to whom I feel right by heart
I belong to someone I will love from my heart
And certainly you are not one.
If you ever catch me
and Keep me hostage
let me tell you something
Even if you violate my body
does not mean my body is yours
Cause i had not given you my consent
If you tear my heart out and eat it
It does not belong to you
because I would never love you
nor accept you.
If your rip my soul out by killing me
my soul rather go to hell
instead of becoming yours
My mind will die before you can acclaim it
So give it up and learn to love properly
you are nothing but a rabid psycho
I would never belong to you
Cause i am a free soul and
Only me in person can tell who i can belong to
14:44 Jul 03 2013
Times Read: 468
I am your criminal
I am your nightmare
I am your disease
Let me tear you apart
And Eat your heart out
You are the Law and Justice
Pure heart and clean soul and mind
You are my dream
You are my cure
You will attach the pieces in me
That had been missing all these years
You will spit me out in order to save me
I am your criminal
I am your Sinner
I am your drug
who will make you
Addicted to me, and Me alone
I am the one
Who will eat your heart out
Will rip apart your flesh and
Make it mine by branding my own
I am the your insanity who will
Twist your clean mind into dirty
Lusty corrupted lover
Am your Incurable disease
Your true incurable weakness
Let me make you mine
let me make you addicted to me
and my presence and my essence
when I will be absent,
that will drive you insane.
I am your psycho killer
who wants your love
wants your body and mind
from cleaning to become dirty
I will turn it from tonight
I am your justice and law
I am your cure from your madness
I will fill your dirty heart with love
and remove the lust
Your dream and your light
Your hope and your Morphine
for all your pains I will relieve you
Give me your hand
and let me cleanse you
Give me your hand and let me
Guide you to a better path
No I don't want to see the light
No I don't want this kind of cold love
I want a warm love
I want your lust and your
flesh and heart
I want to see you bleed for me
I want your tears and sweat for me
I want you to be jealous and angry
for all the lovers I am having
and not poker face and cool head attitude
Show me your true face,
rip off that angel face or
i will tear it apart with my claws
and pierce your flesh with my fangs
I will infect you and make you mine
I will be in your system and make
you nothing but addicted to my essence
I will corrupt your natured heart
and bring you down with me
I will make you loose your innocence
and make you stop being a man
I will force you to become a woman
My woman that you like it or not
I will make you drug addict
I will make you my whore from tonight
Make you scream in pain
while you will bleed for me
While you bleed to death
cause If I can't have you, no one will
If I can't have you than you shall never live
together we shall burn once I ate your heart
and drank all your fluids and shredded your
Beautiful white pale skin to pieces you will be mine
I am your criminal
I am your nightmare
I am stalking you
Ready to eat your heart out
I am your eternal darkness
I will make you mine,
Dying in pain with me inside you
Or
Dying in pleasure with me bleeding you
You are the law and justice
and I am your criminal and disease
Let me show you, where you belong to
A man who's normal by day, lusty lover by night
13:38 Jul 03 2013
Times Read: 469
In the middle of the night
I walk with the thirst for lust
I see men, though I don't like
To share my time with them
In the middle of the night
I walk with the hunger for lust
For the smell of sex
And the taste for flesh
and Love fluid but when I
See women in sexy clothes
I feel nothing but disgust
I am a man who love men
There is something missing
I want sex, a night full of passion
And tomorrow no need to remember
No faces nor names and no numbers
Just warmth for the night
And the morning
I am nothing but a boring normal man
But when the Sunset comes I become
A man with hunger for lust
A man thirsty for sexual and passionate
Nights with men
Will not matter to me at all,
But there is something missing
I want one particular feeling
To go for it,
One particular feeling that I am waiting
for is what people of wisdom call it,
The Call, The irresistible Desire
The Endless fire that comes also from inside
The Desire that comes also from the heart,
I do not want my nights to end up
All empty and the fun, forgettable becomes
I want the nights, become something I will
Be dying for and wishing for from morning
and never ends till the next dawn comes,
I want that special person, that have
special Fire in the eyes
special warmth in the heart
while he is playing with my body
making me moan like a cat male
on the heat and sending me to ecstasy levels
that can make my body shiver and my heart
race like a sports car during the drag race in
extreme full power and feel the adrenaline.
But yet where is that someone?
I want lust, I want to be smelling
of nothing but sex in the very morning
I am a person who always hate to attach
strings with a person cause I always get hurt
and hurt them myself after screwing up
But I want to have that special person
by my side, that we both have some special
connection. We don't know each other in the morning
but when the night comes we become one
we meet in that particular Cheap Hotel
called The Midnight Summer Love Hotel
We have a drink together, then up we go
Kissing in lame elevator, ripping each others
clothes off and touching and biting
We get on the bed, then rolling on the floor
on that hard wooden floor
touching and biting, ripping the flesh with our
deep lust for the flesh and wanting for entering
each others body.
I love sex
I love this lust,
finally is filling me in
you are the one i was searching
you are the one that fills me up
at nights with warmth and endless desires
but enough satisfying for the nights
Yet I don't want to let go when the dawn comes
I am breaking my own rules
I am not following my own written laws
I want more and more with you
Not become full time lovers
but night time lovers
Just sex and feelings but no more
than that.
Just sex and feelings but no strings
attached.
I am a man who wants sex
I am a man who wants lust
For the nights and in the morning
I am nothing but a boring salary man
But at night I am a deep passionate lover
who goes home with the smell of sex.
I don't get it
02:52 Jul 03 2013
Times Read: 473
Why is it that I can't get it?
Why am I so dumb to get it?
I am confused and finding it
Hard as hell to see the truth in it
or some sort of secret in it.
I walking in the darkness
lost and wounded
yet don't know what to do
but one thing for sure there
is something to do.
Find the cure and get out
The cure for my mind,
The cure for my heart
The cure that can release me
but I can't get it.
My soul is withered
but my heart keeps on beating
beat, beat, beat, and beat
and my head keeps running
and thinking and running
My feet keeps shaking but walking
shaking but running
shaking but moving forward
to nowhere but wondering in darkness
searching for that cure.
But I do not seem to get it.
What does it look like?
what form does it take as?
Can it be permanent or
I got to take it once and that is it?
is it a human that will be my cure?
Is it a pet that will heal me, by being
by my side and play with me all along?
Is it the dope? or lame pills that the doctors
will prescribe me to take it till i die?
or death in person will take the matters in its hands
that is here nearby ready to cure me from everything
and end all the suffering that is in my heart
and my sickened mind ?
Why is it I can't get it?
Where is this fucking cure?
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